Live life to the fullest

a Dreamer. yes I Am!

2011-06-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

It’s cliche. i know. and i hate things that are cliche. but still. it’s so true. i feel like i should rephrase it. but i won’t. just don’t give up, ever. there’s always something to live for, someone to breathe for, some reason to walk, talk, dance, sleep, eat. it’s the things that are placed in front of us in attempts to stop us that really should inspire us to keep going. those brick walls are placed strategically to try to make us give up. what’s better: saying that you gave up when something difficult showed up, or being able to say that you were able to overcome that difficult situation and proceed with your life. i think the latter. so keep pushing. finding one small thing that gives you a push can be your saving grace. whether it be a person, poetry, writing, music, singing, dancing, photography, anything. just an outlet that you know will always be there for you when you may not be at your best. knowing that one thing is there may help you accomplish things you never dreamed you would ever accomplish.

THE 45 LESSONS LIFE TAUGHT ME, BY REGINA BRETT

2011-06-11T17:34:00.001+08:00

1.Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past, so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness, but you.

26.Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Instructions of Life

2011-06-11T17:02:00.000+08:00

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the 3 R’s: respect for self, for others, and responsibilty for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
ABOVE ALL, SEEK GOD FIRST IN YOUR DAILY LIFE.

9 Hardest Times of Life

2011-06-11T16:40:00.001+08:00

1. Being questioned when you yourself don’t understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you are guilty about.
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with yourself.
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you just can’t.
8. Realizing that you’ve been fooled after you’ve given your whole trust.
9. Parting with and letting go of someone who made you believe in love again.

Life is a Movement

2011-06-11T16:31:00.000+08:00

So fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve. You will fall, and it will hurt. But the farther you fall, the higher you will rise. The higher you rise, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it. There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances pass them by, why they didn’t take the roads less traveled.

Those people AREN'T you. You have front row seats to your own transformation and in transforming yourself, you might transform the world. It will be electric, and I promise it will be terrifying. Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. I promise you, it is now, not to two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that, know that deep in your bones, go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that, and keep going.

DADDY’S RULES FOR DATING

2011-06-11T16:01:00.001+08:00

Every father’s rules for the guy who is dating his daughter.

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re surely not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: ‘early.’

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME ____________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________
HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________
SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________
HOME ADDRESS___________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: ____________________________________________
__________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ____________________________

If less than your age, explain:
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? ____________
mother? ___________
pastor? ____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman’s place is in the:
____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
____________________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
____________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
____________________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

__________________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back).

GRACE

2011-05-19T19:12:00.001+08:00

After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat and went to the barber shop, which was owned by the pastor of the town's Baptist church.

The barber's wife, Grace, was working that day, so she performed the task. Grace shaved him and sprayed him with lilac water and said, "That will be $20." The man thought the price was a bit high, but he paid the bill and went to work.

The next morning the man looked in the mirror and his face was as smooth as it had been when he left the barber shop the day before. "Not bad," he thought, "At least I don't need to get a shave every day."

The next morning the man's face was still smooth! Two weeks later the man was STILL unable
to find any trace of whiskers on his face. It was more than he could take, so he returned to the barber shop.

"I thought $20 was high for a shave," he told the barber's wife, "but you must have done a great job. It's been two weeks and my whiskers still haven't started growing back." The expression on her face didn't even change, expecting his comment. She responded, "You were shaved by Grace. Once shaved, always shaved."

PLANT YOUR GARDENS

2011-05-19T19:03:00.002+08:00

It's time to plant our gardens. As you plant, may I suggest the following rules for your garden planting:

PLANT three rows of squash:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash criticism
3. Squash indifference

PLANT three rows of peas:
1. Purity
2. Patience
3. Perseverance

PLANT six rows of lettuce:
1. Let us be unselfish and loyal
2. Let us be faithful to duty
3. Let us search the scriptures
4. Let us not be weary in well-doing
5. Let us be obedient in all things
6. Let us Love one another

NO GARDEN is complete without turnips:
1. Turn up for church,prayer service, and Bible study
2. Turn up with a smile, even when things are difficult
3. Turn up with determination to do your best for God's cause.

After planting, may you "Grow in Grace and in the knowledge of our Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ". 2 Peter 3:18

A Touching Story

2011-05-17T17:10:00.000+08:00

With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy greeted his father as he returned from work, "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the father said: "Look, son, not even your mother knows that. Don't bother me now, I'm tired."

"But Daddy, just tell me please!? How much do you make an hour," the boy insisted.

The father finally giving up replied: " Twenty dollars per hour."
"Okay, Daddy? Could you loan me ten dollars?" the boy asked.

Showing restlessness and positively disturbed, the father yelled:
"So that was the reason you asked how much I earn, right?? Go to sleep and don't bother me anymore!"

It was already dark and the father was meditating on what he had said and was feeling guilty. Maybe he thought, his son wanted to buy something.

Finally, trying to ease his mind, the father went to his son's room.
"Are you asleep son?" asled the father.
"No, Daddy. Why?" replied the boy partially asleep.
"Here's the money you asked for earlier," the father said.

"Thanks, Daddy!" rejoiced the son, while putting his hand under his pillow and removing some money.

"Now I have enough! Now I have twenty dollars!" the boy said to his father, who was gazing at his son, confused at what his son just said. "Daddy could you sell me one hour of your time?"

God is My Victory and He is Here

2011-05-17T15:43:00.001+08:00

A lthough things are not perfect
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking Him for all the things
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of "Camp Complaining"
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o "thank" is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e'll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Be Blessed!!

Say Grace!!

2011-05-17T15:16:00.003+08:00

A friend of mine came over my house and we shared some funny stories. I feel like writing all of 'em in my blog but can't recall all at the moment. So, here's one of them!

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the accident of evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, just in time to see a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw the bear closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him raising his paw to kill him.

At that instant, he cried out, "Oh my God!"

Just then, time stopped... The bear froze; the forest was silent; even the river stopped moving. A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky, saying, "You deny My existence all of these years; teach others I don't exist; even credit My creation to a cosmic accident, and now do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and said, "It would be rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

As the light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest continued, and the bear put his paw down. The man breathed a sigh of relief. Then the bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and said: "Lord, I thank you for this food, which I am about to receive."

HONK If You Love Jesus!

2011-05-17T14:51:00.006+08:00

My friend got a hella funny letter from his Grandma the other day. She writes:

The other day, I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting; so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD!! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Sydney back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your teenage cousin, in the back seat, what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Your cousin burst out laughing... why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared; so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Much LOVE,
Grandma.

Today God is First!

2011-02-24T09:53:00.009+08:00

My goodness! Miss me? I haven't kicked this blog for ages and I just realized how I miss writing all the much. How are you blessed people?? It's two-o-and-eleven! I think year by year will pass by just like day by day "Oh ermm.. Yesterday was 2010 and tomorrow is 2012." Scary yet amazing, isn't it? Oh folks, it's been 20 years I've come to this earth. Twenty years since the time of amazing, undeserved, and life changing grace upon grace. Thanks to be the God. I pray and I believe this year ahead, we will faithfully walk from glory to glory! Can I hear Amen? :)

Too often we forget to start a day with God. We put more focus on coffee and the quick breakky without acknowledging the word of God is the most important thing to be consumed. If only I had more time! Have you heard those words echo in your mind? Welcome to the life in the twenty-first century, when your schedule nearly bursts with activities and relationships that demands your attention 24/7. Family, faith, study, career commitments often leave us feeling overburdened, overworked, overwhelmed. And you questioning, how to discover a bright spot in all busyness?? It's simply easy! Wake up early and spend time with God. You will get a spiritual pick-me-up once you apply this positive habits that connect you to what's most important. What better use of your time?

I made a commitment 2 years ago to always put God on the top of my to do list because it says on Psalm 84:11 "The Lord God is our light and protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who do what is right." Every moment I spend a quality time with God is always be the best time of my day. He revives me, restores me, re-energizes me, and renew me all over again. Having devotionals is like having spiritual vitamins or a protein bar for producing divine character on the run. I know this because I experience it myself. It's addictive!

How do you know people's mind and people's heart if you do not have any communication with them. You would not know them from the inside out. The only thing you know is those people are exist. That's all. It is appeared the same with us and God. We wouldn't know God's mind, God's heart, God's vision if we do not talk to Him. Ahh, God's mind is just too massive for me to understand, I have done a lot of ministries and His heart is just for those sinners who haven't found God. No! It's a totally wrong way of thinking. God says, it's all about YOU! Yes you people who reading this! You are in God's mind. You are in God's heart. And you are in His vision. God wants nobody but you. Where's on earth you can find another love that shows on the cross? For me cross is the symbol of perfect love. He wants you to love Him back. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28. "Come to Me! Come Come Come!" Come to Jesus! He wants you to come to Him and spend time with Him. That's what you are created for, to love God.

God is so personal. He meets us where we are; in your bed, in your kitchen, in your work-desk, in your smile, in your laugh, in your cry, in your lunch, in your dinner, in your happy moments, in your lowest point of life, in everywhere. Our full schedule doesn't affect His presence with us. He is right there, waiting for you to carve out a few minutes so that He can give you a glimmer of hope and a nugget of wisdom from timeless truths of God's Word. He longs to give you rest and refreshment.Your willingness drew Him near. He saw your ultimate desires, He does feel you and want to take its place.

Now, if you have read this, you know His desires and His feeling about you, Would you like to bear with Him for just a few minutes?

God bless!

Epilog of the day

2010-12-14T14:46:00.003+08:00

I posted quite many for today. I dont know what's really in my head at the moment. Can I say something? This is gonna be my last post for today. promise!

Friends, let your guard down a little more often. Would you rather continue living this boring life, hiding in your shell, being safe in your comfort zone? Or would you rather take a risk every now and then? Sure, there’s a chance you could get hurt, but there’s just as much of a chance that you won’t get hurt. There’s just as much of a chance that someone could come along and really make you happy. Don’t disregard every chance you bump into; it’ll eat you alive wondering what if. Stay open for divine interruptions and get ready!

To: Mr. XY

2010-12-14T14:38:00.002+08:00

If I had your name, I’d call you out.
If you were the face I woke up to each morning, surely my days would never see the shadows.
If you were my song, I’d sing you out at the top of my lungs.
If you were my word, I would keep you safe on the tip of my tongue.
I have so many ideas of who you might be or who you could be.
I want you here and I want you now.
I want your eyes to be the ones that fill my mind and I want your sentences to float though my head like afternoon clouds.
I want you, my glorious summer morning; my evening wrapped in dew.
I want to know how warm your eyes would be to fall into.
I want to know that at the end of all my searching, you do indeed exist.

I see something in y o u

2010-12-14T14:30:00.001+08:00

Anything “off the page”. Get inside my mind, and you’ll see what I mean. Words that make my heart ache. Phrases that give me a buzz. Stories that hit me head on without judgement, without flashing lights. Give me no warning signs, because I’m a learner. I’m a thinker. I want to delve into unchartered territory and explore my heart, my mind. Cultured people. People who exist. People who live every thought they conceive. Who breathe every word they speak. Future is in the eye of the beholder. I see it all. To me, flaws are a persons foundations. There’s no cracks, but there may be scars. And scars tell a story. Skin is a full bodied spirit; it lives to tell the tale. I see everything for myself. I see everything from my heart. And when I see future in your eyes, you’ll know.

Please..........

2010-12-14T13:52:00.001+08:00

Take my hand. We can make it out alive. Through the smoke, through the dusk and the noise of all that nothing. Away from the scraping and the looming shadows creeping along walls, away from skeleton lies and vampire smiles. The wasteland of our memories, all ash and bitter tastes in our mouths, will be nothing but an old photograph you’ll look at once in a while. You’ll show me, and I’ll barely remember, and we’ll smile in recognition over cooling cups of coffee.

Things written on my heart

2010-12-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

I want to harmonize with you and write music for days. Take my hand and paint our deepest desires on the ceiling. They fit so perfectly between these plastic glow-in-the-dark stars. Sing me your dreams and I’ll take it all in. You are different and I cannot see past those ocean eyes. We could carry this somewhere; perhaps to an undiscovered galaxy or some far-off forest. Shed your skin and dance in the moonlight with me. Life is too short not to dance when we can. Love is too fleeting not to fall into. And the truth sometimes hurts.

Untitled

2010-12-12T12:09:00.002+08:00

Summer's HIT!

2010-12-10T12:51:00.005+08:00

Or more like, Hanna is homesick for Indonesia after 12 months in Australia.

MHMMM actually, I"ll be home for new year (CNY). can't wait any longer SERIOUSLY. It hurts when I log in to Facebook and see all the pics of my friends who are home already spending time with their families or the gorgeous delicious food whatsoever (damn Facebook!). But yeah. 49 more days. 1176 more hours. 70560 more minutes. It’s not that long. I hope.

By the way I’m done with my fourth semester of tertiary academy. Well not 100% done as results are out next week *heart beating faster* but yeah all I need to do now is to find a part time job and then ADIOS PERTH SEE YOU IN FALL.

From what I learned, here’s when I feel homesick the most. I don’t know, is it different for everyone? Probably..

When you just move in.
IN WINTER. Especially if you’re from a warm country like me.
When it’s someone’s birthday. By someone I mean family, hmm like mom, dad, siblings or or maybe a close friend. Because all you can do is limited in only posting a YouTube video singing all along or send them an e-mail or text, and not an actual hug :(
NOW, LIKE, WHEN YOU’RE THIS CLOSE TO ACTUALLY GOING HOME. BECAUSE YOU SUDDENLY REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO BE PATIENT.

But. Okay. Inhale. Exhale. 49 days. It’s gonna be alright. January, 28th will come eventually.

Question!

2010-11-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

I mean it

2010-11-28T18:36:00.001+08:00

I've always known that you're gonna go far. We're gonna shine in two different directions. It's okay, even though it's not always the case for me. I'm sincerely happy for you :)

Reflection on my life

2010-11-24T13:53:00.001+08:00

Outside the station, she stands with her child on the side of the street, taking pictures of cars.

You think she’s insane. Until, one day, you notice that she’s taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.

Because you look. But you do not see.

And she walks out the shop with bags full of cat food. You think she’s some crazy cat lady until you find out, she has no cats.

Because you eat. But you do not taste.

It’s been a while since their last album but he assures you, he’s doing just fine these days, white flecks in his nostrils. Then he asks you if he can spend the night on your couch, even though it stinks.

Because you sniff. But you do not smell.

And they say “Just OK” when you ask them how school was. Then you wonder what they’re hiding until you find their diary and the last entry reads “I wish you’d give me some privacy.”

Because you listen. But you do not hear.

And they’ve got a bruise over their eye and you run the tips of your fingers over it and ask them how it happened. You believe them. Until it happens again.

Because you touch. But you do not feel.

And they walk past you everyday, one million stories, each waiting to be told. Waiting for you to ask.

Because you live. But very few, love.

You're not allowed to read this.

2010-11-24T12:40:00.005+08:00

I remember studying

in my room, just reading,

and shutting the book,

looking up, and missing you, missing you,

and reading the notes again.

There’s no freedom in it or in fear: my heart’s not mine.

Haves and Have-Nots

2010-11-24T12:34:00.002+08:00

I’m so terribly confused.

When I have love, I envy those without the heartbreak that comes with it. When I do not have love, I covet those who are lucky enough to find it.

Lol at me?

Happiness.

2010-11-24T12:09:00.003+08:00

- finding your musical soul mates
- when he smiles at you
- spinning around in the rain
- unexpected texts
- finding something you thought you'd lost
- feeling pretty
- winning an argument
- getting letters in the mail
- noticing something you never had
- slipping on your new pair of shoes
- cheering someone up
- knowing that everything will be okay

You have a pen? Take a memo and Write this down:

2010-11-24T11:43:00.008+08:00

Once, I was loved, supremely with every fiber of someone’s being. He was the risk I'd always take. He just never knew how to hold my heart.

Yet, he's my favorite thought.

if YDK what IDKWTM means then IDEK where to start‏

2010-11-24T00:42:00.005+08:00

November 24, 2010

I wonder where you are right now and what you are doing. I wonder what you are thinking about or if you are even awake. I wonder what you are feeling when you hear that one song. Yes, the song has done. I wonder about you sometimes.

A letter from mom

2010-10-24T20:14:00.006+08:00

I don't know mom could write something like this.

My Daughter,
As a child your smile would light up a room,
Turning my day to sunshine from any kind of gloom.
Your giggles and laughter was nice to hear,
I feel the same way to this day, when you are near.

From a girl to a woman, you grew up so fast,
My wonderful memories of you will forever last.
your sweetness and beauty was and is such a big part of you,
It comes forth in all the things that you do.

You've done so well for yourself over the years
Deserving the many good times, and working through some tears.
I'm proud of you and your life that you've made,
My love and support for you throughout,
will never ever fade.

Mom, you made me cry the whole night reading this letter. Like most kids, I didn't always appreciate all the things you did for me... I just assume that I'd be loved and pampered and that you would fix any crisis. I can't ever repay you at all. But sometimes, I wish I could go back to my childhood to relive some of those moments when you were teaching me about love, giving acceptance, lending me strength, and so forth.. And each time I would hug you tight and say thank you so much! I LOVE YOU!

I am Still Alive

2010-10-19T18:58:00.015+08:00

Hey there amazing people!

Yes, I'm still alive. Much has been going on here. As of today, I have done 6 mid tests, 2 more waiting and so 4 finals to finish my awesome second year! Yipeeeee! You should be proud of me for not doing youtube procrastination in the last 3 months :)

You ask, How I did it? Okay, this great achievement is because Hanna got new commitment to get her stuff done before watching youtube and oh! She glued a BIG FAT WONDERFUL encouragement paper in front of her lappy saying "STOP BLUDGING! The clock is ticking! DON'T you dare miss a single second!" And with all due respect, I close youtube, facebook, messanger etc and start crying (read: studying). It's hard though for the first time to make it through, but in fact I know clearly now that I can live without internet, laptop, cellphone, and hi tech whatsoever. I think it's better if Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

Where was I?

Oh yea so my point is resist the laziness and take a step. Now GO!!

So folks, these past few days, I genuinely feel I am running toward something new, not running away from something old. I am convinced that God has been in this process of change. I know it's hard to adapt with something new and to start something that has been done half way all over again. But hey! I was reminded again that if I want great things to happen, do not changing the face, facing the change instead! I am confident and fully trust there will be tremendous things ahead. It might involve lots of hard work, tears and risk and fear and uncertainty... but at the end of the day I believe God is in it and I will be able to find His purposes in my life.

Please God, give me Your courage and remind me always of Your grace.
I surrender all.

p.s. My parents coming this thursday so this blog will be kicked off again soon :)

A Song from a Heart

2010-10-06T17:20:00.005+08:00

HANYA UNTUKMU

Dalam bisu
Tanpa tanya
Ku tak bisa ungkapkan
Isi hati yang tersimpan
Mengagumi dirimu

Dalam tatap
Jerit rindu
Tak mampuku lukiskan
Rasa ini dalam kata
Hingga lagu ini kunyanyikan

Chorus:
Untukmu hanya untukmu
Rasa ini cinta ini hati ini
Kuberikan

Untukmu hanya untukmu
Slalu di hati tak terganti
Tiada lelah kukan menanti

Music and lyrics : hanna

Sometimes by Step

2010-10-01T09:59:00.001+08:00

Ask more questions, not the same questions more often
Recognize you can be whatever you desire to be
Know that performance does not equal identity
Realize that you are the equal of everybody
Realize that you are the better of nobody
Appreciate, you did the best you could
Face the future, live for the moment
Understand suffering is part of life
Accept, you will make mistakes
Breathe from your diaphragm
Smile when things get tough
Always be kind to yourself
Think before you answer
Visualize Your Success
Take time for yourself
Make time for others
Listen with interest
Suspend disbelief
Embrace change
Still Your Mind
Be curious
Exercise
Laugh
Love
Cry

First Draft

2010-09-15T12:16:00.005+08:00

Beautiful eyes beautiful cries.
No more beautiful lies.

I'll let you be my life ..
So I can buy you a beautiful ice.

I've been working on a couple songs these past few days. Feeling inspired (ahm)! I was trying to create something that a lot of ladies can relate to. Well, It is not a topic that I'm going through at the moment, but I can say I've been there , done that, and moved on.

Hello la la ladies! Never lose yourselves to any man, or anyone!

Thoughtfully yours,

What now?

2010-09-10T22:50:00.002+08:00

I am struggling to get stuff to write and staying motivated to type even a few sentences for my few readers to have something to read.

I am not giving up just yet. I am just in a horrible funk.

I'll try again tomorrow *finger crossed*

Good night world! God bless :)

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

2010-09-05T08:56:00.012+08:00

Papi, I want to tell you so many things, that if I haven’t told you all this before, I’m saying it now…

Thank you for being such a great father.
Thank you for teaching me how to ride bicycle. You cried with me, every time I fell yet I’m still struggling to fight the fear of falling :P
Thank you for teaching me how to use chopsticks.
Thank you for switching off my light every night and for the good night kiss.
Thank you for bringing me light food every day, you know how I love them, much!
Thank you for taking me to the church. You said you want me to grow beautifully in Christ and that creates me what I am today.
Thank you for always reminding me to get my vitamin every morning and answer all the silly questions I asked about it.
Thank you for buying me a piano and always supporting me to practice hardly. I have no regret dad!
Thank you for calling and messaging me every morning and night to tell me you love and miss your little girl.
Thank you for not getting mad when I ruined the car’s bumper.
Thank you for being strict to me when I need it.
Thank you for buying me dresses even though you know how full my wardrobe is.
Thank you for saying sorry when you did wrong. You amazed me.
Thank you for coming to my concert while you supposed to get rest after working the whole day. The time you made for me is very highly appreciated.
Thank you for sending me money to buy red lipsticks, although mom thought I was too young. I was 8 years old dad.
Thank you for taking care of me when I got my teeth taken out. You were an angel and put up with my crying moments.
Thank you for not letting me give up 48 hours before the deadline of when my enrollment was due. Do you remember that weekend? When I broke down and said I was afraid I’d be rejected. You called them up the next day.
Thank you for not getting upset for the times I came to Perth. I know you wished for me to go back very often. I’m working on my degree and I will make you proud. Promise!
Thank you for all our daddy-daughter dates. I have a list of them.
Thank you for all the advice about life and repeating it over and over again. It sticks in my head.
Thank you for being my rock, when I needed you the most.
Thank you for supporting every decision I have made. Good or bad.
Thanks for your advice, support, help, smile, hug, care, kiss and love.
Thank you for staying up until 4am accompanying me study. Many times! And you brought me fruits and candies. Great times.
Thank you for believing in me to do things I have never done before and encouraging me every time I fail.
Thank you for texting me funny jokes daily. You always make my day.
Thank you for picking up my phone during working hours and taking all the time to have important conversations about all my ramblings and worries.
Thank you for always putting us first, even when work is so busy.
Thank you for loving mom so much. I know she loves you too.
Thank you for your hard work and providing for our family.
Thank you for teaching me to laugh at life and have fun.
Thank you for being so proud of me and telling everyone. I know I’ll always be your super girl.
Thank you for everything.

You are one of the very greatest gifts God gave to me. I love you so much, dad.

Missing you,
h.

7 pm

2010-09-02T19:15:00.009+08:00

I like sitting in this little seat, listening to my little music (Come Away With Me-Norah Jones), watching the world blows by in such a hazy blur, as I contemplate why time flies so fast, except when I’m sitting here, enjoying my rare moments of being alone and at peace.

Today, my sister and I had some chat over the phone. This is just the courtesy of conversation with her.

Me: We never thought we would be this jaded and cold until it happened. Even after realizing that it’s likely you’re in love with a certain person and think s/he is the one, then something changed your mind, it’s more like.. Eh, another one bites the dust. And you have to move on.

Sis: It’s kinda sad, but at the same time, I guess it’s just our mind’s way of trying to keep us from getting so burned. You have to check your heart, it wouldn’t be easy but once you’ve done with the feeling you will be able to see what exactly God’s plan in the journey. Even if he’s not meant to be yours, at least you have created something in his life.

Me: Yep, couldn’t agree more. But now, I don’t even know I fall more in love with the idea of a person than with the person themselves or I fall in love with the idea of being in love. Or I just don’t know how to be in love. Silly me.

My heart hasn’t quite figured out yet what I suppose to do seriously.

I learned a long time ago that sometimes love just isn’t enough. Still, I need to believe that love matters, even if it’s not enough to hold together.

But you’re right. Someday, maybe I’ll be able to look back and remember that I once cared about that person without regret of giving my best. Well, It’s going to be a while before that happens though, because right now, my mind hasn't understood yet that if my heart is telling me to keep going on why is he still there? It's still breathing for him and getting worse.

Sis: Such a long process to reach maturity, and so is love, dear.

Thanks sis for slowing down my life, for a split second.

Fighting off a sore throat today.. Sing along with me!

2010-09-02T15:00:00.001+08:00

Come away with me and we’ll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I’ll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

Come away with me, Norah Jones

The Seven Wonders of the World

2010-08-31T15:46:00.004+08:00

Junior high school students in Chicago were studying the Seven Wonders of the World. At the end of the lesson, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. The Taj Mahal in India
3. The Grand Canyon in Arizona
4. The Panama Canal
5. The Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”

The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch…
2. to taste…
3. to see…
4. to hear… (She hesitated a little, and then added…)
5. to feel…
6. to laugh…
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. May this story serve as a gentle reminder to all of us that the things we overlook as simple and ordinary are often the most wonderful - and we don’t have to travel anywhere special to experience them.

Enjoy your gifts!

This is not a letter to y o u

2010-08-30T20:03:00.004+08:00

I am not writing to say I can’t breathe without you. Nor that my days feel empty and I feel lost and my messenger.. it makes a sound and makes a flick and still feel bizarre because I’m missing your PINGS!. My heart doesn’t burn and I don’t cry. I don’t wait for you to call, I don’t hope for you to say you care, I don’t wait for you to randomly show up again. This hopelessness.. it’s not for you. and yes, I am a liar.

Reduce Me To Love

2010-08-26T10:01:00.008+08:00

As you've noticed, I have taken my time to update my blog as of late tee-hee! :D
I don't really know how many loyal readers I have but I do hope with this writing will bring blessings into your day. So, I keep plugging along.

What's with the title?
Here the story goes, couple days ago, when I read my daily devotional, it led me questioning myself about the differences between a need and a want.
If you walk through a toy store, you will realize lots of children speak out their mantra: "But mom, I neeeeeeed that!"

So, what exactly is a need?
I looked up need in the dictionary and learned that a need is a condition requiring supply or relief. To be honest, I found it was very hard for me to sort out things I need and things I want. I have to admit that most of the time when I told God I neeeeeeded something, I was a lot like a child in a toy store. I just thought I needed it, I wanted my way, and got upset when I didn't get it. Selfish? Yes!

In the book of Acts, it says the church rallied to supply each other's needs : "They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need" (Acts 2:45). When I read this story, I was like WOW GOD! Even bending their own needs to accommodate other's needs. How did they do it? I believe they found the true fulfillment in life while eliminating their selfishness. It's trully amazing. It makes me realize I really don't have that many "needs"!

God spoke very clearly that night and He began to soften my heart. He gave me compassion-the heartfelt desire to meet the needs of others first before my own. And my pray to God to reduce me to love to be able to reach the state of walking in love of others completely. He also assured me that He will supply my needs (and yours too) and He goes beyond that. He meets needs according to His riches and He owns it all! Praise God!

KEEP MOVING ON!

2010-08-26T09:45:00.004+08:00

Ahoy there! I have posted this in my notes on facebook, and feel like re-posting it here :)

Determination is the key ingredient in living out our dreams. But some days it seems everything goes wrong.
At those moments when bad news come or my plans come to a screeching halt, my natural reaction is anger, fear, depression. Or I could say, if life were a movie, dark foreboding music would be playing in the background to heighten the already strong sense of impending doom!
And at those moments it is very easy for me to get condemned and believe to satan's lies : "You are going to fail. You are not good enough. This will never happen. You are loser. and so on...."

But today, God reminds me from Isaiah 26:3, it says "you will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You (God), whose thoughts are fixed on You (God)!"

I was like WOW! He read my mind perfectly..
Now I choose to take the thought captive and put the bad news in perspective. What's the worst scenario? Ans: Failure and inconvenience kinda stuff.. And so I ask, "Is God still in control?" Looking back to His faithfulness through my life journey and many verses that declare God is sovereign Lord or supreme Deity, I can say the obvious answer is yes! Then, I ask, "What help is available to me?" Well, I don't usually have a clue, But God is wise.
I'm afraid of failure. Honest!
But in saying what I said God is perfect and never fails. I may be without resources , but God created and owns everything. He owns my future and yours.

As I recall the truth about God and review His strength, I am forced to think thoughts beyond my own. That process helps me think differently.
New, better,and positive thoughts and options begin to appear as well as peace comes with the ability to think not with my own glasses but His.
He's just too good to be true.

God bless

Don't Stop Believing

2010-08-15T21:40:00.004+08:00

9 hardest things in life:

1. Being questioned when you yourself don’t understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you are guilty about.
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with yourself.
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you just can’t.
8. Realizing that you’ve been fooled after you’ve given your whole trust.
9. Parting with and letting go of someone who made you believe in love again.

over read that list from google and I bet the list goes on!

Thing to be pointed out here is how you learn to accept yourself the way you are, coz by doing so, you will be able to accept everything painful and confusing and focus the blurry photographs into clearer images. The voices you couldn't hear from the past will eventually be sharper than before if there's a will to keep moving on and keep believing that God works behind the scene. Everything will be alright - but it isn't always the kind of all right that you wanted, but all right nonetheless :)

Life is how you see it!

So, it's love!

2010-08-15T21:26:00.005+08:00

If your hands are sweating, you can feel your heart is beating faster than normal rate, or your voice is getting stuck every time you meet him, it's not love, but CRUSH.

If you like to see how he presents himself in front of people, his sweet talks, his smell, it's not love, but ADMIRATION

If all you want is holding her hands, clinch her, kiss her, it's not love, but LUST

If you want her, call her, message her just because you know that she will be there anytime, it's not love, but LONELY

If you tell her that you love her but you can not accept her family and love them as you love her, it's not love, but LIE

Love isn’t just about the romantic candle light dinner, neither spending the whole night talking to someone, nor giving a special gift. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. It isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. Love isn’t about big moments nor big surprises. Love is not a fairytale.

So, what is Love?

Love is

When you accept them with all their crap, their ugly past, their everything as it's part of their personality.

When you are brave enough to give your heart, your life, and even your death.

When your heart tear to pieces every time they cry and feel glad for their happiness.

When you find someone better than them and choose to stay.

When you feel she deserves all the blanket.

Love is about still having the butterflies after years.

Love is about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because nothing is better than to see a smile on their face.

Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things.

Love is when someone loves you because you are you! where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, good days, ugly days, good moods, bad moods, you will still be… loved.

Oh my.. This is getting...

2010-05-09T18:55:00.000+08:00

I had a goal for this year to write more entries for my blog. And as you can see, I have not succeeded in this goal. It has been almost a whole three months since my last post.

Okay......... can I be really honest?

[confession]
These days, I found myself frequently awakening in the middle night with a heart full of anxiety-- about exams. I would lie there and toss and turn, sleeping fitfully and best. I just had the sudden realization that exams could be as little as 4 weeks away. No matter how hard I wish or whine, today will still be May, 10th instead of July, 10th. I just have to stuck it up, stop procrastinating, and do study, even if it means that I have to bang my head against the wall in the process ahh. That's a little scary--and a little exciting. It's not I'm allergic to exams...HONEST! but I think this is the most overloaded semester I've been doing so far. And bunch of lecture notes......... almost always make me cry.

(Um, okay, not CRY cry.. but I certainly start to feel my throat buckle and my eyes begin to ahem, mist.)

I know it would not change the lecturer's mind or heart by crying and complaining on their decision to bring the whole semester topic into the exams. But I do hope there will be sort of miracle happen? *wipes eyes*

I mean let it be, Lord, let it be. *wipes nose*

I will do my best, focus forward, and laid it at Your feet.

in the words of obama : YES, WE CAN!

so, press on hannaaaaaaa.

[/confession]

You + Me ?

2010-02-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

So, here I am once again, trying to blog.

This is my plan. I will write posts as I have the time and inspiration. And then I will save them as drafts and space out the actual posting. If I can maintain my discipline I should have a handful of posts in draft form available at anytime. So, maybe, more regular posting ahead.

Let's talk about Valentine.
Mine was not too bad :) One of my relatives from Sydney came to Perth. We truly haven't met for ages and so it was nice spending this summer holiday catching up outdated news with her. We had packed plans to go over 4 days. First, we stepped to shopping centers and you can say that we were really big spenders on sale items. Do I need to save up? I DO!
Then, we hunted heaps of good food, like literally heaps of goood food. Uh oh! I become a paranoid these days every time I see weight scales... pooh! My breathing slows down as I listen to my heart pounding in my ears. Is that a paradox of some kind? Really, it's just a sign of overeating.This is exactly what I'm doing as I write down these words: "Dear body, I am sorry I have taken in so much sugar, carbs, and fat. The diet starts February 20th. Mark my words!"

Well, that's about it.
Suddenly, I realized there was something missing. Where's the love? Isn't valentine about chocolate, flowers, love letter, teddy bear, candle light dinner, and all sweet romantic stuff? Honestly, I'm in the I'm-confused-does-love-actually-exist state of mind, wondering whether I can grip on to some sort of silly happiness in being able to love without hurting. I know it's a silly thought and all I could say is love is nothing easy.

It took me a couple hours having me-time and adapting the new way of seeing how's love worth the pain. So, below is what inside my head right now, you may agree or disagree. No offense. I'm just saying.

You are in this world to love someone and your job is to find that someone, love them until you can not feel anything anymore, love them until you don't care about the pain. Because it's worth fighting for. It's worth the time. It's worth crying for. It's worth giving in every piece of dignity you have. Even if it makes you look like a weirdo in everyone else's eyes. Who cares?! Everyone is somebody's weirdo, isn't it?
And listen! don't ever ever ever jump into conclusion in the first place about what everyone tell you about your someone or what they make you feel. Because in the end, it's not about them, but you and your someone and we all go through the same thing. We love and hurt. We live and die.
And when I say love, it doesn't mean "I love you, let see how it goes for tomorrow!" or "I love you if only....." or "I love you but...." You must never expect anything in return if you love (you might hear about this before) because when you love them with unconditional love and it comes to a failure you will simply smile and say, "Nice try". No regret in loving someone the best way you can. Trust me!

Another thing is learn to let go and move on. Never hope for love to vanish. Because I tell you, it won't. When you love someone, it will never go away. It will just fade. There will always be a little piece of your heart that will yearn for him. You can not make it go away. Learn to remember the good things that you've shared with him, even if it's not mutual. Maybe the way he smells, the way he look when he's happy, the way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he says hello, and the way he says good night. Because in the end, it's always the good things that matter. And when you learn to face rejection, lose and pain with dignity and grace, it will indeed make you grow stronger and you end up being complete.

Wiw, long post alert is on!

Of these, I want to encourage you to never give up on love. Because every second is one you'll never get back and happy ending does exists. Ciao! ^^

What do days like these bring..... ??

2010-02-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

I had an awfully bad day today. I am feeling overwhelmed by several different incidences, over the past few weeks, occurring in my life that are effecting my mood so badly. Some of which are difficult to get through. Almost to the point that the future seems bleak.

But you know what? I am thankful for days like today because it really does make me appreciate the good days I had.

It's great to know that the Lord is in control of my life. It is great to know what I have way down in my heart can not ever be taken away. I must remember it! Now, I need to remain encouraged and strong.

Lord, please give me wisdom, patience, and understanding to get through these difficult trials and tribulations, these difficult times in my life. Remove ALL doubts that seem to be trying to take me over. Please instill in me total faith that You are in total control. And reassure in me that You know what is best for me. Help me to keep the faith.

Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite Christian songs, which is blessing me a lot at the moment by Frontline Generation.

GIVE ME FAITH

I used to worry ‘bout what my future hold for me
But You came to my heart and assured me
All I have to do is put my life in Your hands

Now I’m rest assured that You are in control
No worries anymore ‘cause it does nothing good
And I will lean on You, I’ll trust You with all my heart
Knowing that when the time comes it’s all worth the wait

Chorus:
Give me the faith
Grant me the patience
To quietly wait for your works to be done

Give me the faith
Grant me the patience
To faithfully serve ‘til you reveal more to me

I'm gonna have an amazing year. I must believe it. Gute nacht.

Oh, by the way... valentine is just around the corner!

It's a New Day, New Hope, a Brand New Year!

2010-01-28T14:10:00.000+08:00

Hella fella!!

Hows it all going?? Hope life's treating you well.

First of all, I would like to wish all of you a Happy New Year!! *I know it's kinda late but I guess there's nothing such too late :)

Have you ever sat down to write and have so much to say, but no matter how hard you try your thoughts won't make it to the paper or on the computer screen? Your fingers just can't strike those keys on the keyboard fast enough. Well that is me today, right now. I seriously have a million thoughts going through my head. I have been learning literally heaps of thing nowadays whether I experienced it myself, my friend's life story, from reading NIV, from reading Joel Osteen. Ohh, It’s almost like information overload. I have traffic jam in my brain.

I don’t know where to start today. But, I will give it a try anyways…

Okay, now 2009 is gone.

It feels slightly weird to type the date…. 28.01.10, especially the year part, my fingers are used to ‘09’. I concede that things changed quite a lot in 2009.

There's might be some of you who desperately demand a backspace button or restart button in your life in order to correct things you did wrong, to rewind sweet times with your family, boy friend, girl friend, to stop bad things from happening and many things come into your mind that you wish you could undo or redo.

I have 2 news for you guys, the bad and the good.

The bad news is time flies. You can't go back to the past, even to the last second. But the good news is you are the pilot *sobs*

You can bring yourself down to the past or up to the front.

Bible said, " Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I'm doing a new thing. (Isaiah 44:18-19)

Remember, God's word is a lamp unto our feet, right here, anywhere, right now, today as we need it and do we ever will need it. I know I do. God has continued to transform me this past year through His journey. I am reminded daily that God has lots of BIG things in front of me if only I forget what's behind and reaching forward to what's waiting for me.

Listen! I do encourage you to not drift backwards, that is easy to do and lets not get stuck in the same rut as in the previous years, that too is easy to do. Do not let disappointments that come your way bring you down and color your world with darkness. With Him in the center of our lives our future is bright. He knows exactly what this year will bring. And every situation we go through whether good or bad will bear every opportunity for us to give him praise.

I hope 2010 will be much much much better. Anything that you had gained or lost in 2009 was for the best , and I guess the definition "imperfectly perfect" suits it well. So, anyway I'm welcoming 2010, hands wide open, open to whatever's coming my way. *droolz

It's a new day, new hope, a brand new year. It is 2010, fresh start !

God bless

ps.click it! http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=54708&id=1238332825&l=836a405939

Everything is Different Now!

2009-10-15T07:44:00.000+08:00

Hi there.
I know I haven't done a great job keeping my blog up to date. Shame on me :(
But I have just been really busy with other things I consider more important like juggling uni stuff to the welcoming exam , my personal goals I have set for myself, growing my relationship with Christ even more, starting a new ministry, continuing on with my other ministry, and spending time with friends. So yes I have been busy lately.

I actually was up for 24 straight hours. I came home, slept for just couple hours, then got up. And now I feel horrible. Maybe more tired than being sick.

Well, I think blogging is more important to refresh my stressful-mind rather than sitting down and facebook-ing. Don't you think?
For sure, I do need to prioritize my life, duties, wishes, and wants a little better.
Go Hanna Go!!

So, today's topic is......... *drum rolls

What is it you are longing for?
Kind words. Acceptance by surroundings. That person who will love you back. That person who will listen attentively when you talk. That friends who will provide their times in your every difficult times. That parents who will understand your problems. Or maybe that boss who will appreciate your efforts and hard work.

I would say that we do suffer from lots of indifferent things almost on a daily basis. It happens and unfortunately it rises from our closest circumstance. It does hurt when we are on the seen that those lovely people couldn't care less what impact it may have on us. We might disappointed and feel we have been violated.

I find out that my life is quite far off from the life I really want and I go around and try to find someone to blame.
Starts on my family's dilemma, friends matter, untrusted love, and many more.
I just realized that not all things I desire to be happened will be happened.
So I went into break facing many questions.
Why would God allow this to happen to me when I felt I was excelling? What did I go wrong? Does God want me to focus on something? Was God trying to get my attention? Do I have any reason to give up?
All these questions have been flooding my thoughts and prayers.

Then I jump to a conclusion that it's part of life pretending that it really doesn't matter when in fact it really has done hurting my soul.

You know what??!
I got BIG ZERO for that termination.
We do needs other in our lives. It is part of our design. If you go on thinking about it, all of our deepest longings stand in need of others around us to come through for us. Say YES If you agree with me.

Someone said, events and decisions that happen around you and in your lives are just occasions. Instead of going into your shell or let say your comfort zone, blaming others, clamming up, and becoming an isolated person, we are better to seek the positive side and to use no more our glasses but God's glasses to be able to see the whole picture.

Now, everything is different.
I believe God put my family, friends, and you in my life for a great purpose. I will have to give thanks for the close door and to be ready to go through the doors when God opens it. Let's live our life to the fullest :)

Have a blessed day peeps!

NB: "And we know that all things work together for good to then that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28)

Fail?? It's NOT a big deal!

2009-08-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps!! How's life going??

I wanted to blog couple days ago, but it seems impossible since I was pretty busy lately coz uni hit me with lot of reports and tests.
By the way, I'm on my week break now yay!! *happy face

Okay, to make it short, let starts :P
Hmm.. Are you guys familiar with the words

I bet all of you have ever gone through a failure or even failures in the journey of your life whether it is a failure in education, work's environment, family, friendship, love, or relationship with God.
Well, it's human nature and it's just normal!

I bore some failures which certainly annoyed my mood overnight. I was completely miserable and I felt like I was the biggest looser in the earth. Shame was my friend and my world was full of disappointment. It sounds dramatic, huh?
For all time, my life has transformed since I adapted a new perspective about failure. And I want you to know that nobody born loser. Nobody!!

So, What does failure mean for me?
Failure doesn't mean I far from a-so-called successful. It hints at how close I am to it to try one step ahead.

Failure doesn't mean I missed doing my project. It proves I have learned something justly.

Failure doesn't mean I went foolishness. It shows that I was brave enough to risk by exploring new orbit that I have never encountered before.

Failure doesn't ought to make me loss of face. It indicates that my best has just not good enough.

Failure doesn't mean I am out of the game. It means I have to play again in different way.

Failure doesn't mean I'm not excellence. But, it is true that I am not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean I will never enter the gate of success. I just need a courage to carry out some more exercises like what I did in elementary school, which are exercising and homeworking to get straight A+ in the test.

Failure doesn't mean I have wasted my time and failed for the rest of my life. At least I have a hope to start again.

And Failure doesn't mean you have beaten me. We are in the same stage and you just have a better idea.

I will conclude that failures do not define you and me. It's your attitude and mine. You are allowed to cry a river, but then, build a bridge and get over it.
We always have a second chance.. Never give up mates!!

A Good Life Architect

2009-07-21T12:59:00.000+08:00

"What is my purpose of life?"
I was questioning myself when I looked at a book with a title The Purpose Driven Life.

I am a teenage girl, going on 19.
For me, it sounds weird if you almost say bye to your teen-age and you got no point for your next life.
If you think you have already had your future in mind, please answer this questions (being specific is better to border general things).

What will you do after graduating from university?

What kind of profession will you carry out?

What plan-b do you have if the first occupation you have planned is refused?

What will the estimated salary you want to get?

When will you marry?

Where will you settle after marriage?

Did you response my questions swiftly?
Well, you will face those question in your life certainly soon.

Some people are formed not to be a future oriented person.
You might say, " I just want to be me, I'm happy with all I have today and I believe God holds my future."
Hey, You are so true!
But, have you ever thought that you are the architect of your life? Not God.
He is the insurance company who will give you aids if somethings bad happened.
He let you free achieving things you want.
It's your choice.

When I decided to continue my education in Perth, I was afraid of going through a wrong course. Then, to convince myself of choosing a right one, I browsed from Google to attain the idea about the career with the most demand in Australia, I asked people for their opinion, I asked myself "Where does my passionate take me to?" and "Does my ability cooperate with it?"

Finally, I fixed on Food Science and Technology.
It was great studying objects related to food. This is because, you will know the preparation of the industry on how they produce food, the work mechanism of the nutrition in your body, and the most interesting thing is I got the idea how to keep body in shape. Well, it doesn't work for me anyway because I was schooled the Australian diet and it has so much difference from Asian, especially the size and the variety preference of the food.

Out of sudden, I chose to transfer my course to Pharmacy.
My passion is the reason. I love something associated to the public health, laboratory, counseling people. And pharmacy is the answer of my passion.The fact is you will acknowledge your own courage while doing something you love. I have already proven it.

It's not God commanding me to opt pharmacy instead of food science. It's all my choice and I entrusted it in His hands. It is appeared to be true that He makes everything wonderful.

Along the way, I noticed so many struggles from the environment that intimidated me to be shaken from pharmacy. Some of my friends left, they moved to other courses. Some people said, it's gonna be really tough for first and second year in pharmacy. Some said, I'm good at marketing and should consider to switch to marketing course. Some said, I am welcomed back to food science.
And I said, I stick to my choice and I know I can do it with God.

Do you know why I can firmly stick to my standpoint?
It is because I have my own purpose of life. One of mine is to be a success woman. I dream to be a real pharmacist. Therefore, I will focus to reach my dream.

I am the architect of my life and so are you.
What you are going to build in your life depends on you and the best time to create your construction is NOW!
GOOD LUCK!

Nb: The purpose driven life is an inspiring book.

Sometimes it's so lonely being free

2009-07-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep tonight and no one seems awake.

I perceived the clock, it's 00:20 am .. hmm..

I need someone to talk to right now, I wanted to call my mom, but it's 11:20 pm right there and she must be slept.
I guess tonight will be so lonely. Just me and the clock ticking sounds.

Suddenly, a question appeared to my mind.
"God, Why did you send me here? Why?
Do You fully trust me that I can overcome any kind of feelings far away from my family?"
It's very hard to stand alone without anybody to count on.
No dad. No mom. No brother. Neither my little sister. We are far apart.

I miss them. I do.

"God, Do You experience my feeling?"

My mom told me magic words before I'm going back to Perth last holiday, she said,
" Wherever you are placed, tend it with care because God put you there"
She always reminds me that I will never be alone in my life since Jesus is in me. He cares about me more than her. He loves me more than her. He is there for me when she could not be there.
"Just call His name softly, He will be with you at the time."

Then.. I reflected on her words.. Do I have any reason to feel lonely?
The answer is NO, I have none!!

Yes, it is true that no one besides you, prepares your breakfast, remembers you to have dinner on time, chooses what clothes to wear or even kisses your chick before going to bed.
But, Is that the point you feel lonely?
Physically yes you are alone, because your eyes are too limited to be appraised of God's presence. But listen! You do can feel that He is there, as I do while writing the paragraph.

I'm telling you now, it's 01: 05 am. Just me, Him, and the clock ticking sounds.

Pssst! Do you have any reason to feel lonely?
Good morning people!

Nb: Wow, Thanks God for the quick answer. It's amazing.

A New Comer??

2009-07-17T14:50:00.001+08:00

Yes I am..
Goshhhh! After thinking hundred times, rhymes and miles to create a blog, here we go...
I got o n e! Woo-hoo!!

You are questioning, "Was writing that bad for Hanna?" I would like to say yes, because I thought it was just an ordinary hobby that waste lots of time thinking deeply, writing what you thought , erasing what you wrote, and correcting what you erased. Then, I assumed that people will acquire nothing at all once they have done it but mind-exhausted.

Hang on!
It was totally a wrong opinion. I realized that writing was deadly fun after one day I started to ink on my diary. I don't know, somehow it feels glorious when you can tell a story to someone who can not interrupt you while you are talking (in this case, typing) and you will chalk up the idea perfectly till the end. And yeah, another point to write in here is you can share something out about your great life experiences to anyone that may bring blessings for them like smiling, laughing, or maybe a simply lullaby.

Moreover, I want to improve my literacy skill. May be I am not as neat as ones expert in writing. In fact, it is never be wrong when you try something, you have heart to devote it, and you fail. At least you try. Just get right back up! You are saved mate!

Hey, I am going to impart you that anyone could be a spanking Shakespeare. One of his best quotes say, " There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass."
Did you conceive that statement? Honestly, I did not.
William Shakespeare was known as a man with a razor sharp wit and who do not know him? I am not telling you to be a poet like him, it is hard being someone else and you do not need to be. Just be a spanking you. Explore an innovation and be outstanding. That's my point.

And I guess.. This will be my new hobby.
Welcome to my blogging world!