So, it's love!

If your hands are sweating, you can feel your heart is beating faster than normal rate, or your voice is getting stuck every time you meet him, it's not love, but CRUSH.

If you like to see how he presents himself in front of people, his sweet talks, his smell, it's not love, but ADMIRATION

If all you want is holding her hands, clinch her, kiss her, it's not love, but LUST

If you want her, call her, message her just because you know that she will be there anytime, it's not love, but LONELY

If you tell her that you love her but you can not accept her family and love them as you love her, it's not love, but LIE

Love isn’t just about the romantic candle light dinner, neither spending the whole night talking to someone, nor giving a special gift. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. It isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. Love isn’t about big moments nor big surprises. Love is not a fairytale.

So, what is Love?

Love is

When you accept them with all their crap, their ugly past, their everything as it's part of their personality.

When you are brave enough to give your heart, your life, and even your death.

When your heart tear to pieces every time they cry and feel glad for their happiness.

When you find someone better than them and choose to stay.

When you feel she deserves all the blanket.

Love is about still having the butterflies after years.

Love is about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because nothing is better than to see a smile on their face.

Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things.

Love is when someone loves you because you are you! where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, good days, ugly days, good moods, bad moods, you will still be… loved.

Oh my.. This is getting...

I had a goal for this year to write more entries for my blog. And as you can see, I have not succeeded in this goal. It has been almost a whole three months since my last post.

Okay......... can I be really honest?

[confession]
These days, I found myself frequently awakening in the middle night with a heart full of anxiety-- about exams. I would lie there and toss and turn, sleeping fitfully and best. I just had the sudden realization that exams could be as little as 4 weeks away. No matter how hard I wish or whine, today will still be May, 10th instead of July, 10th. I just have to stuck it up, stop procrastinating, and do study, even if it means that I have to bang my head against the wall in the process ahh. That's a little scary--and a little exciting. It's not I'm allergic to exams...HONEST! but I think this is the most overloaded semester I've been doing so far. And bunch of lecture notes......... almost always make me cry.

(Um, okay, not CRY cry.. but I certainly start to feel my throat buckle and my eyes begin to ahem, mist.)

I know it would not change the lecturer's mind or heart by crying and complaining on their decision to bring the whole semester topic into the exams. But I do hope there will be sort of miracle happen? *wipes eyes*

I mean let it be, Lord, let it be. *wipes nose*

I will do my best, focus forward, and laid it at Your feet.

in the words of obama : YES, WE CAN!

so, press on hannaaaaaaa.

[/confession]

You + Me ?

So, here I am once again, trying to blog.

This is my plan. I will write posts as I have the time and inspiration. And then I will save them as drafts and space out the actual posting. If I can maintain my discipline I should have a handful of posts in draft form available at anytime. So, maybe, more regular posting ahead.

Let's talk about Valentine.
Mine was not too bad :) One of my relatives from Sydney came to Perth. We truly haven't met for ages and so it was nice spending this summer holiday catching up outdated news with her. We had packed plans to go over 4 days. First, we stepped to shopping centers and you can say that we were really big spenders on sale items. Do I need to save up? I DO!
Then, we hunted heaps of good food, like literally heaps of goood food. Uh oh! I become a paranoid these days every time I see weight scales... pooh! My breathing slows down as I listen to my heart pounding in my ears. Is that a paradox of some kind? Really, it's just a sign of overeating.This is exactly what I'm doing as I write down these words: "Dear body, I am sorry I have taken in so much sugar, carbs, and fat. The diet starts February 20th. Mark my words!"

Well, that's about it.
Suddenly, I realized there was something missing. Where's the love? Isn't valentine about chocolate, flowers, love letter, teddy bear, candle light dinner, and all sweet romantic stuff? Honestly, I'm in the I'm-confused-does-love-actually-exist state of mind, wondering whether I can grip on to some sort of silly happiness in being able to love without hurting. I know it's a silly thought and all I could say is love is nothing easy.

It took me a couple hours having me-time and adapting the new way of seeing how's love worth the pain. So, below is what inside my head right now, you may agree or disagree. No offense. I'm just saying.

You are in this world to love someone and your job is to find that someone, love them until you can not feel anything anymore, love them until you don't care about the pain. Because it's worth fighting for. It's worth the time. It's worth crying for. It's worth giving in every piece of dignity you have. Even if it makes you look like a weirdo in everyone else's eyes. Who cares?! Everyone is somebody's weirdo, isn't it?
And listen! don't ever ever ever jump into conclusion in the first place about what everyone tell you about your someone or what they make you feel. Because in the end, it's not about them, but you and your someone and we all go through the same thing. We love and hurt. We live and die.
And when I say love, it doesn't mean "I love you, let see how it goes for tomorrow!" or "I love you if only....." or "I love you but...." You must never expect anything in return if you love (you might hear about this before) because when you love them with unconditional love and it comes to a failure you will simply smile and say, "Nice try". No regret in loving someone the best way you can. Trust me!

Another thing is learn to let go and move on. Never hope for love to vanish. Because I tell you, it won't. When you love someone, it will never go away. It will just fade. There will always be a little piece of your heart that will yearn for him. You can not make it go away. Learn to remember the good things that you've shared with him, even if it's not mutual. Maybe the way he smells, the way he look when he's happy, the way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he says hello, and the way he says good night. Because in the end, it's always the good things that matter. And when you learn to face rejection, lose and pain with dignity and grace, it will indeed make you grow stronger and you end up being complete.

Wiw, long post alert is on!

Of these, I want to encourage you to never give up on love. Because every second is one you'll never get back and happy ending does exists. Ciao! ^^

What do days like these bring..... ??

I had an awfully bad day today. I am feeling overwhelmed by several different incidences, over the past few weeks, occurring in my life that are effecting my mood so badly. Some of which are difficult to get through. Almost to the point that the future seems bleak.

But you know what? I am thankful for days like today because it really does make me appreciate the good days I had.

It's great to know that the Lord is in control of my life. It is great to know what I have way down in my heart can not ever be taken away. I must remember it! Now, I need to remain encouraged and strong.

Lord, please give me wisdom, patience, and understanding to get through these difficult trials and tribulations, these difficult times in my life. Remove ALL doubts that seem to be trying to take me over. Please instill in me total faith that You are in total control. And reassure in me that You know what is best for me. Help me to keep the faith.

Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite Christian songs, which is blessing me a lot at the moment by Frontline Generation.

GIVE ME FAITH

I used to worry ‘bout what my future hold for me
But You came to my heart and assured me
All I have to do is put my life in Your hands

Now I’m rest assured that You are in control
No worries anymore ‘cause it does nothing good
And I will lean on You, I’ll trust You with all my heart
Knowing that when the time comes it’s all worth the wait

Chorus:
Give me the faith
Grant me the patience
To quietly wait for your works to be done

Give me the faith
Grant me the patience
To faithfully serve ‘til you reveal more to me

I'm gonna have an amazing year. I must believe it. Gute nacht.

Oh, by the way... valentine is just around the corner!

It's a New Day, New Hope, a Brand New Year!

Hella fella!!

Hows it all going?? Hope life's treating you well.

First of all, I would like to wish all of you a Happy New Year!! *I know it's kinda late but I guess there's nothing such too late :)

Have you ever sat down to write and have so much to say, but no matter how hard you try your thoughts won't make it to the paper or on the computer screen? Your fingers just can't strike those keys on the keyboard fast enough. Well that is me today, right now. I seriously have a million thoughts going through my head. I have been learning literally heaps of thing nowadays whether I experienced it myself, my friend's life story, from reading NIV, from reading Joel Osteen. Ohh, It’s almost like information overload. I have traffic jam in my brain.

I don’t know where to start today. But, I will give it a try anyways…

Okay, now 2009 is gone.

It feels slightly weird to type the date…. 28.01.10, especially the year part, my fingers are used to ‘09’. I concede that things changed quite a lot in 2009.

There's might be some of you who desperately demand a backspace button or restart button in your life in order to correct things you did wrong, to rewind sweet times with your family, boy friend, girl friend, to stop bad things from happening and many things come into your mind that you wish you could undo or redo.

I have 2 news for you guys, the bad and the good.

The bad news is time flies. You can't go back to the past, even to the last second. But the good news is you are the pilot *sobs*

You can bring yourself down to the past or up to the front.

Bible said, " Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I'm doing a new thing. (Isaiah 44:18-19)

Remember, God's word is a lamp unto our feet, right here, anywhere, right now, today as we need it and do we ever will need it. I know I do. God has continued to transform me this past year through His journey. I am reminded daily that God has lots of BIG things in front of me if only I forget what's behind and reaching forward to what's waiting for me.

Listen! I do encourage you to not drift backwards, that is easy to do and lets not get stuck in the same rut as in the previous years, that too is easy to do. Do not let disappointments that come your way bring you down and color your world with darkness. With Him in the center of our lives our future is bright. He knows exactly what this year will bring. And every situation we go through whether good or bad will bear every opportunity for us to give him praise.

I hope 2010 will be much much much better. Anything that you had gained or lost in 2009 was for the best , and I guess the definition "imperfectly perfect" suits it well. So, anyway I'm welcoming 2010, hands wide open, open to whatever's coming my way. *droolz

It's a new day, new hope, a brand new year. It is 2010, fresh start !

God bless

ps.click it! http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=54708&id=1238332825&l=836a405939

Everything is Different Now!

Hi there.
I know I haven't done a great job keeping my blog up to date. Shame on me :(
But I have just been really busy with other things I consider more important like juggling uni stuff to the welcoming exam , my personal goals I have set for myself, growing my relationship with Christ even more, starting a new ministry, continuing on with my other ministry, and spending time with friends. So yes I have been busy lately.

I actually was up for 24 straight hours. I came home, slept for just couple hours, then got up. And now I feel horrible. Maybe more tired than being sick.

Well, I think blogging is more important to refresh my stressful-mind rather than sitting down and facebook-ing. Don't you think?
For sure, I do need to prioritize my life, duties, wishes, and wants a little better.
Go Hanna Go!!

So, today's topic is......... *drum rolls

What is it you are longing for?
Kind words. Acceptance by surroundings. That person who will love you back. That person who will listen attentively when you talk. That friends who will provide their times in your every difficult times. That parents who will understand your problems. Or maybe that boss who will appreciate your efforts and hard work.

I would say that we do suffer from lots of indifferent things almost on a daily basis. It happens and unfortunately it rises from our closest circumstance. It does hurt when we are on the seen that those lovely people couldn't care less what impact it may have on us. We might disappointed and feel we have been violated.




I find out that my life is quite far off from the life I really want and I go around and try to find someone to blame.
Starts on my family's dilemma, friends matter, untrusted love, and many more.
I just realized that not all things I desire to be happened will be happened.
So I went into break facing many questions.
Why would God allow this to happen to me when I felt I was excelling? What did I go wrong? Does God want me to focus on something? Was God trying to get my attention? Do I have any reason to give up?
All these questions have been flooding my thoughts and prayers.

Then I jump to a conclusion that it's part of life pretending that it really doesn't matter when in fact it really has done hurting my soul.

You know what??!
I got BIG ZERO for that termination.
We do needs other in our lives. It is part of our design. If you go on thinking about it, all of our deepest longings stand in need of others around us to come through for us. Say YES If you agree with me.

Someone said, events and decisions that happen around you and in your lives are just occasions. Instead of going into your shell or let say your comfort zone, blaming others, clamming up, and becoming an isolated person, we are better to seek the positive side and to use no more our glasses but God's glasses to be able to see the whole picture.

Now, everything is different.
I believe God put my family, friends, and you in my life for a great purpose. I will have to give thanks for the close door and to be ready to go through the doors when God opens it. Let's live our life to the fullest :)

Have a blessed day peeps!


NB: "And we know that all things work together for good to then that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28)

Fail?? It's NOT a big deal!

Hi peeps!! How's life going??

I wanted to blog couple days ago, but it seems impossible since I was pretty busy lately coz uni hit me with lot of reports and tests.
By the way, I'm on my week break now yay!! *happy face

Okay, to make it short, let starts :P
Hmm.. Are you guys familiar with the words

I bet all of you have ever gone through a failure or even failures in the journey of your life whether it is a failure in education, work's environment, family, friendship, love, or relationship with God.
Well, it's human nature and it's just normal!

I bore some failures which certainly annoyed my mood overnight. I was completely miserable and I felt like I was the biggest looser in the earth. Shame was my friend and my world was full of disappointment. It sounds dramatic, huh?
For all time, my life has transformed since I adapted a new perspective about failure. And I want you to know that nobody born loser. Nobody!!

So, What does failure mean for me?
Failure doesn't mean I far from a-so-called successful. It hints at how close I am to it to try one step ahead.

Failure doesn't mean I missed doing my project. It proves I have learned something justly.

Failure doesn't mean I went foolishness. It shows that I was brave enough to risk by exploring new orbit that I have never encountered before.

Failure doesn't ought to make me loss of face. It indicates that my best has just not good enough.

Failure doesn't mean I am out of the game. It means I have to play again in different way.

Failure doesn't mean I'm not excellence. But, it is true that I am not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean I will never enter the gate of success. I just need a courage to carry out some more exercises like what I did in elementary school, which are exercising and homeworking to get straight A+ in the test.

Failure doesn't mean I have wasted my time and failed for the rest of my life. At least I have a hope to start again.

And Failure doesn't mean you have beaten me. We are in the same stage and you just have a better idea.

I will conclude that failures do not define you and me. It's your attitude and mine. You are allowed to cry a river, but then, build a bridge and get over it.
We always have a second chance.. Never give up mates!!