7 pm

I like sitting in this little seat, listening to my little music (Come Away With Me-Norah Jones), watching the world blows by in such a hazy blur, as I contemplate why time flies so fast, except when I’m sitting here, enjoying my rare moments of being alone and at peace.

Today, my sister and I had some chat over the phone. This is just the courtesy of conversation with her.

Me: We never thought we would be this jaded and cold until it happened. Even after realizing that it’s likely you’re in love with a certain person and think s/he is the one, then something changed your mind, it’s more like.. Eh, another one bites the dust. And you have to move on.

Sis: It’s kinda sad, but at the same time, I guess it’s just our mind’s way of trying to keep us from getting so burned. You have to check your heart, it wouldn’t be easy but once you’ve done with the feeling you will be able to see what exactly God’s plan in the journey. Even if he’s not meant to be yours, at least you have created something in his life.

Me: Yep, couldn’t agree more. But now, I don’t even know I fall more in love with the idea of a person than with the person themselves or I fall in love with the idea of being in love. Or I just don’t know how to be in love. Silly me.

My heart hasn’t quite figured out yet what I suppose to do seriously.

I learned a long time ago that sometimes love just isn’t enough. Still, I need to believe that love matters, even if it’s not enough to hold together.

But you’re right. Someday, maybe I’ll be able to look back and remember that I once cared about that person without regret of giving my best. Well, It’s going to be a while before that happens though, because right now, my mind hasn't understood yet that if my heart is telling me to keep going on why is he still there? It's still breathing for him and getting worse.

Sis: Such a long process to reach maturity, and so is love, dear.

Thanks sis for slowing down my life, for a split second.

Fighting off a sore throat today.. Sing along with me!

Come away with me and we’ll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I’ll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

Come away with me, Norah Jones

The Seven Wonders of the World

Junior high school students in Chicago were studying the Seven Wonders of the World. At the end of the lesson, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. The Taj Mahal in India
3. The Grand Canyon in Arizona
4. The Panama Canal
5. The Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”

The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch…
2. to taste…
3. to see…
4. to hear… (She hesitated a little, and then added…)
5. to feel…
6. to laugh…
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. May this story serve as a gentle reminder to all of us that the things we overlook as simple and ordinary are often the most wonderful - and we don’t have to travel anywhere special to experience them.

Enjoy your gifts!

This is not a letter to y o u

I am not writing to say I can’t breathe without you. Nor that my days feel empty and I feel lost and my messenger.. it makes a sound and makes a flick and still feel bizarre because I’m missing your PINGS!. My heart doesn’t burn and I don’t cry. I don’t wait for you to call, I don’t hope for you to say you care, I don’t wait for you to randomly show up again. This hopelessness.. it’s not for you. and yes, I am a liar.

Reduce Me To Love

As you've noticed, I have taken my time to update my blog as of late tee-hee! :D
I don't really know how many loyal readers I have but I do hope with this writing will bring blessings into your day. So, I keep plugging along.

What's with the title?
Here the story goes, couple days ago, when I read my daily devotional, it led me questioning myself about the differences between a need and a want.
If you walk through a toy store, you will realize lots of children speak out their mantra: "But mom, I neeeeeeed that!"

So, what exactly is a need?
I looked up need in the dictionary and learned that a need is a condition requiring supply or relief. To be honest, I found it was very hard for me to sort out things I need and things I want. I have to admit that most of the time when I told God I neeeeeeded something, I was a lot like a child in a toy store. I just thought I needed it, I wanted my way, and got upset when I didn't get it. Selfish? Yes!

In the book of Acts, it says the church rallied to supply each other's needs : "They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need" (Acts 2:45). When I read this story, I was like WOW GOD! Even bending their own needs to accommodate other's needs. How did they do it? I believe they found the true fulfillment in life while eliminating their selfishness. It's trully amazing. It makes me realize I really don't have that many "needs"!

God spoke very clearly that night and He began to soften my heart. He gave me compassion-the heartfelt desire to meet the needs of others first before my own. And my pray to God to reduce me to love to be able to reach the state of walking in love of others completely. He also assured me that He will supply my needs (and yours too) and He goes beyond that. He meets needs according to His riches and He owns it all! Praise God!

KEEP MOVING ON!

Ahoy there! I have posted this in my notes on facebook, and feel like re-posting it here :)

Determination is the key ingredient in living out our dreams. But some days it seems everything goes wrong.
At those moments when bad news come or my plans come to a screeching halt, my natural reaction is anger, fear, depression. Or I could say, if life were a movie, dark foreboding music would be playing in the background to heighten the already strong sense of impending doom!
And at those moments it is very easy for me to get condemned and believe to satan's lies : "You are going to fail. You are not good enough. This will never happen. You are loser. and so on...."

But today, God reminds me from Isaiah 26:3, it says "you will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You (God), whose thoughts are fixed on You (God)!"

I was like WOW! He read my mind perfectly..
Now I choose to take the thought captive and put the bad news in perspective. What's the worst scenario? Ans: Failure and inconvenience kinda stuff.. And so I ask, "Is God still in control?" Looking back to His faithfulness through my life journey and many verses that declare God is sovereign Lord or supreme Deity, I can say the obvious answer is yes! Then, I ask, "What help is available to me?" Well, I don't usually have a clue, But God is wise.
I'm afraid of failure. Honest!
But in saying what I said God is perfect and never fails. I may be without resources , but God created and owns everything. He owns my future and yours.

As I recall the truth about God and review His strength, I am forced to think thoughts beyond my own. That process helps me think differently.
New, better,and positive thoughts and options begin to appear as well as peace comes with the ability to think not with my own glasses but His.
He's just too good to be true.

God bless

Don't Stop Believing

9 hardest things in life:

1. Being questioned when you yourself don’t understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you are guilty about.
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with yourself.
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you just can’t.
8. Realizing that you’ve been fooled after you’ve given your whole trust.
9. Parting with and letting go of someone who made you believe in love again.

over read that list from google and I bet the list goes on!

Thing to be pointed out here is how you learn to accept yourself the way you are, coz by doing so, you will be able to accept everything painful and confusing and focus the blurry photographs into clearer images. The voices you couldn't hear from the past will eventually be sharper than before if there's a will to keep moving on and keep believing that God works behind the scene. Everything will be alright - but it isn't always the kind of all right that you wanted, but all right nonetheless :)

Life is how you see it!