You're not allowed to read this.

I remember studying

in my room, just reading,

and shutting the book,

looking up, and missing you, missing you,

and reading the notes again.

There’s no freedom in it or in fear: my heart’s not mine.

Haves and Have-Nots

I’m so terribly confused.

When I have love, I envy those without the heartbreak that comes with it. When I do not have love, I covet those who are lucky enough to find it.

Lol at me?

Happiness.

- finding your musical soul mates
- when he smiles at you
- spinning around in the rain
- unexpected texts
- finding something you thought you'd lost
- feeling pretty
- winning an argument
- getting letters in the mail
- noticing something you never had
- slipping on your new pair of shoes
- cheering someone up
- knowing that everything will be okay

You have a pen? Take a memo and Write this down:

Once, I was loved, supremely with every fiber of someone’s being. He was the risk I'd always take. He just never knew how to hold my heart.

Yet, he's my favorite thought.

if YDK what IDKWTM means then IDEK where to start‏

November 24, 2010

I wonder where you are right now and what you are doing. I wonder what you are thinking about or if you are even awake. I wonder what you are feeling when you hear that one song. Yes, the song has done. I wonder about you sometimes.

A letter from mom

I don't know mom could write something like this.

My Daughter,
As a child your smile would light up a room,
Turning my day to sunshine from any kind of gloom.
Your giggles and laughter was nice to hear,
I feel the same way to this day, when you are near.

From a girl to a woman, you grew up so fast,
My wonderful memories of you will forever last.
your sweetness and beauty was and is such a big part of you,
It comes forth in all the things that you do.

You've done so well for yourself over the years
Deserving the many good times, and working through some tears.
I'm proud of you and your life that you've made,
My love and support for you throughout,
will never ever fade.


Mom, you made me cry the whole night reading this letter. Like most kids, I didn't always appreciate all the things you did for me... I just assume that I'd be loved and pampered and that you would fix any crisis. I can't ever repay you at all. But sometimes, I wish I could go back to my childhood to relive some of those moments when you were teaching me about love, giving acceptance, lending me strength, and so forth.. And each time I would hug you tight and say thank you so much! I LOVE YOU!

I am Still Alive

Hey there amazing people!

Yes, I'm still alive. Much has been going on here. As of today, I have done 6 mid tests, 2 more waiting and so 4 finals to finish my awesome second year! Yipeeeee! You should be proud of me for not doing youtube procrastination in the last 3 months :)

You ask, How I did it? Okay, this great achievement is because Hanna got new commitment to get her stuff done before watching youtube and oh! She glued a BIG FAT WONDERFUL encouragement paper in front of her lappy saying "STOP BLUDGING! The clock is ticking! DON'T you dare miss a single second!" And with all due respect, I close youtube, facebook, messanger etc and start crying (read: studying). It's hard though for the first time to make it through, but in fact I know clearly now that I can live without internet, laptop, cellphone, and hi tech whatsoever. I think it's better if Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

Where was I?

Oh yea so my point is resist the laziness and take a step. Now GO!!

So folks, these past few days, I genuinely feel I am running toward something new, not running away from something old. I am convinced that God has been in this process of change. I know it's hard to adapt with something new and to start something that has been done half way all over again. But hey! I was reminded again that if I want great things to happen, do not changing the face, facing the change instead! I am confident and fully trust there will be tremendous things ahead. It might involve lots of hard work, tears and risk and fear and uncertainty... but at the end of the day I believe God is in it and I will be able to find His purposes in my life.

Please God, give me Your courage and remind me always of Your grace.
I surrender all.


p.s. My parents coming this thursday so this blog will be kicked off again soon :)