This is not a letter to y o u

I am not writing to say I can’t breathe without you. Nor that my days feel empty and I feel lost and my messenger.. it makes a sound and makes a flick and still feel bizarre because I’m missing your PINGS!. My heart doesn’t burn and I don’t cry. I don’t wait for you to call, I don’t hope for you to say you care, I don’t wait for you to randomly show up again. This hopelessness.. it’s not for you. and yes, I am a liar.